How to Give a Compliment

Photo Credit :stevendepolo

Most of us have identity and self-esteem issues. We don't like what we see in the mirror, we are constantly paranoid about what people might be saying about us, and we place low value on ourselves as individuals and our work. This is what makes it difficult for people to give and receive complements. We are afraid to give them because we think the receiver will take it the wrong way, and we assume the person is being insincere when giving us a compliment.

Compliments are very important, however, because if given the right way they can make the other person happier. Working, living, and associating with happy people will elevate your mood as well. So, how can we compliment someone in a better manner?

Be Selective

When you complement someone, you want it to mean something. Do not be effusive in your praise to someone. If you compliment someone every time you see them it will stop being praise and at a point start becoming brown-nosing. Constantly complimenting someone waters down the value. If you are selective and choose the right moment to issue a compliment it will carry more weight.

Be Specific

When you compliment someones appearance, pick a specific part of their outfit or a certain characteristic about there hair and makeup today. Don't just say you look pretty. Complimenting a specific trait shows that you are attentive and genuinely care. Same goes for complimenting an action or a performance such as there work on a project. Pick out something distinct and explain how this action effected you in a positive way. 

Location

Complimenting a person in public requires a different strategy than complimenting someone in private. In a crowd, people are often more defensive and may take the compliment the wrong way. Even if you have the best intentions, what you say may be misunderstood. Be extremely particular with your word choice. In private, people will let their guard down and be more receptive to what you have to say.

Body Language

Body language is crucial because much of what someone is communicating shows up through body language rather than words. Pay close attention to your smile, eye contact, and touch. People notice when you roll your eyes or put up a phony smile. Do not compliment someone unless you truly mean it because your body language will tip the other person that you are being insincere.

This post was inspired by an article from Elizabeth Bernstein of the Wall Street Journal titled Why Do Complements Cause So Much Grief?